Everyday writing
Ask someone for a recommendation
A well-framed request makes it easier for someone to write a strong recommendation and easier to decline if they can't. Context up front saves them a round of questions and shows you respect their time.
A text to start with
Help me ask [name or role] for a recommendation for [what it's for, e.g. a graduate program, a job, a grant]. Here's the context they'd need: [your relationship, what you worked on together, anything you'd want them to highlight]. The deadline is [date]. I want to include an easy out if they're not comfortable. I'll attach [any materials you're sending, e.g. a resume, the program description].
Example request. Change the details to fit your situation.What to check in the draft
State the deadline plainly and early. A draft that softens the ask to sound polite can leave the person unsure whether you need an answer. The easy out matters: "please only say yes if you feel you can write a strong letter" is more useful than a vague "no pressure." Also check that the draft doesn't list qualities you want the recommender to echo, since that reads as scripting.
After you review the draft
Send your supporting materials with the request instead of after they agree. If you haven't heard back as the deadline approaches, send one brief, friendly reminder that restates the date. Once the recommendation is submitted, send a short thank-you, and share the outcome when you know it.